Carlee is a lot...

...like me!

...for example...

Carlee goes to the dentist...

...I work for a dentist.

...Carlee loves to look her best...

...and I just want to look as cute as Carlee.

Carlee is a thumb sucker...

...and I used to suck my thumb.

Carlee loves to wear her pj's while redecorating...

...and I love to wear my pj's.

Carlee loves to cook...

 ...and I love to eat.

Carlee is a cute skunk...

...and when I was little my grandma called me a little stinker.

Carlee loves candy...

...and I think she is sweet as candy.

Carlee loves Uncle Caleb...

...and Uncle Caleb loves me.

Carlee thinks her dad is funny...

...and I think her dad smells funny.

Carlee loves a good nap...

and I love to hold Carlee while she naps.

"Carlee" spelled any other way is spelled...

P-R-E-C-I-O-U-S!

Today is Carlee's birthday.  She is truly precious to me.  We shared her first breaths together and we have shared many more moments since then.  If you are ever having a bad day, call Carlee and listen to our New Englander talk.   She has the cutest accent I have ever heard and no one, no matter how hard they try, can copy it.  She has learned how to call my cell phone and call me she does.  Sometimes she will call and ask me to Skype her.  When we Skype, she shows me things, the picture she colored, her new silly bands, her new dance moves from ballet class.  I love to see everything, but most of all I just want to hear her sweet voice.  You haven't really heard the word "Porter" until you have heard it roll off her tongue.  (Did you know "Porter" actually has a "W" in it?)  So cute!  My sweet Carlee...her eyes sparkle like fairy dust, her hair smells like heaven and her spirit radiates joy.  She makes me laugh.  She makes me smile.  She makes me happy.  I love that girl.

What do suckers, ducks and hairbows...

...have to do with each other?

They were all part of family pictures of Mike and Erin.

It is so much fun to take pictures of my favorite people.

The ducks and geese were a fun addition to the poses.

This is one of my favorite pictures of Emry.

She's so cute, I want to eat her.

...and isn't it obvious why Emry and Amelia are so beautiful?

(these pictures are centered when I save as a draft, but they get lop-sided when I publish, if you know why please let me know) 

(also, notice Erin's cute boots?  I liked them so much I had to go buy a pair.  Sorry Erin, I am undeniably and unashamedly a copycat.)

Our Amazing Mom!

Our Mom is amazing.  She is not the type of lady who would ever "toot her own horn", so I am going to do it for her.   She wanted so badly to be a part of Marin's special day, so she came up with the grand idea of making a blessing dress for Marin.  48 hours later... this is what she came up with.  

Beautiful!  The back is even lined with pearl beads.  Shay was nervous to touch the dress because it was so beautiful.   That's our mom for you.... amazing.

Just playing...

...dress-up.




That's what Danielle said one evening when I came home from a Relief Society meeting and found her twirling in the living room in one of her prom dresses.




...that's my D...




...smiling, singing, grooving to the music, dancing her way through life.




...that's my D...

Today, September 26th, is her 26th birthday.  It's just another reason for the Bush/Coil fam to celebrate, not that we really need an excuse to get together and eat and laugh.  But Dani is a great reason to have fun, because that has been her mantra since she was little, "Let's Party"! 

I remember a fishing trip we made to Montana.  She was five, just a little thing, but her energy was bigger than life.  Matthew took the kids on a very long bike ride in the mountains.  Dani was tired before the trip was over, but she never gave up.  Matthew told me when they got back that at one point he stopped, looked back at this little trooper, pedaling as hard as she could on her one speed princess bike, and wondered what was he thinking, making her ride that far?

Grandpa Coil commented that she complained a little, that's our Dani, you never have to wonder what she's thinking..... but she did it.  She conquered the mountain and probably kept the rest of them going by her example.

A few weeks before she had Logan, D. and I were at the mall.  We had been running like crazy, getting everything ready for the new baby.  At one point, Danielle turned and looked past me, blinked and then blinked again.  She put her hand to her face and in a frightened voice said,  "Mom, I can't see out of my left eye".

 We hugged and had a moment together, right there, mother and daughter, in Bath and Body Works, an ominous feeling and we both recognized another MS symptom had manifest itself.

....me and my D...

Why do bad things happen to good people?  Why do the ones with the strongest desire to really live sometimes have to fight so hard to stay alive?  

...and I ask myself...

...why my daughter...

...why my D...

I think one of the questions could be answered by looking back at that bike trip in Montana.  Because D. had the will to keep pedaling, she was teaching the others to keep pedaling.  When D. is tired, or her legs hurt, she will still bounce up the stairs to lift Cameron out of the crib or just to retrieve a book to read to Sammie.  She will come bouncing/rolling down the stairs again, probably not with real grace, but with true enthusiasm.  And when she lands at the bottom, she will stand up, dust herself off, put a smile on her face and say, "I'm OK, now let's party".

...that's my D!

I still sometimes look...

...outside to see if Andy's bike is on the front lawn, or his hat is hanging on the stair banister, or the Nintendo wires are running amok on the family room floor.  I still want to set a place for him at the dinner table and in the evening I just want to hear about his day. (my boys could always tell a good story)






...I'm not sure when it happened?  I'm not sure when he became an adult, responsible for adult things?

...but I do know if my 8 year old child was dying of a brain tumor, I would want someone with Christ-like compassion to tell me.


Love you more Andy!

I was reminded last week...

... of a really sweet time in my life.



I normally lay out my work clothes the night before, since I don't do my best thinking at 6 a.m. One evening, I opened my closet to get things ready for the next day. The forecast was for cooler weather, which meant I was heading to the back of the closet for the fall season section. I started pulling out wool skirts, long sleeve dresses and black jumpers, the wardrobe of a seminary teacher, well, a sister seminary teacher anyway.



Clothes that I had packed away at the end of the first year teaching seminary thinking I wouldn't be going back, but then I did.



Remember...?



It's kind of funny how life is just moving along to a certain rhythm and then a little drop of memory will seep in to the here-and-now and suddenly I am homesick for a time past that, when it was the present, may not have been as easy as my memory may recall.


...and then the same old worry starts, "did I do a good job", "did I make a difference", "did I please the Lord", and of course "I should have done more". The same thoughts parents have themselves hundreds of times while raising and even decades after raising their children.



It wasn't easy teaching seminary....



My kind and patient children and my kind and enduring husband will look at this picture and remember the rules:

1. NO PHONE CALLS ON THE HOUSE PHONE AFTER 9 PM

2. WHEN MOM PICKS UP HER SCRIPTURES, GOES TO HER ROOM, AND SHUTS THE DOOR BEHIND HER, THE PARTY IS OVER (EVEN THOUGH IT IS ONLY 6 PM)



...but they will never complain, because there is one more rule...


3. "...but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." (and we will do it with a smile on our face)

...no, not always easy, but so worth it.



...now back to the original thought (remember I can't tell a story without jumping around a little)



...and then I got up the next morning, put on the preselected clothes and headed off to work. Just a normal day, right? Except on this particular day I had a special visitor, an old friend, a joy in my life, Jill...





...I was busy, answering the phone, checking patients in, checking patients out, pulling charts, filing insurance claims and on, and on...


...and in walks sunshine, "Awesome" sunshine...smiling, searching for me, seeing me, and me seeing her and my heart flipped.


...I'm sure I won't be the best seminary teacher that Jill will ever have, but I will always be the most grateful for having Jill in my seminary class. I'm grateful for her smile at 6 a.m. grateful for her encouraging eyes at 6 a.m., grateful for the confidence she gave me...grateful for her friendship and love...even at 6 a.m.


...I had a lot of awesome seminary students, but there will always be something special about the "Awesome" Jill.

Playing with Madison and Abbie...

...is one of my favorite activities. My two little angels with the blond hair and blue eyes, picked a couple of their favorite flowers from my anniversary bouquet from Matthew (happy 34th to us) and then had fun posing. I love watching them try to be serious, because they end up laughing harder than if they would just go ahead and smile.

It was high noon and the sun was bright, so the pictures have some issues. But this wasn't about the pictures, it was about making them feel good about themselves, spending time with each other and with me.

I hope they always want to come for sleep overs. Fortunately, bribery still works quite well, promises of pizza, soda, pedicures and shopping keeps them coming back.

Years from now, perhaps at their wedding reception, one of these pictures will flash across a screen in a video and for a moment they will remember being little, having fun and being silly.

Perhaps they will remember how fun their childhood was, even though their dad was a long way from home for a long time.

Perhaps, even further down the road, one of their daughters will ask about the pictures and they will tell them how much their old Kansas grandma cherished them and loved spending time with them.

PS Just a little note to the dad of these 2 gorgeous girls...they are growing up too fast, hurry home to us Chris.

Being there...

...matters.

I know I have shared this on our blog before, the story, the experience, has had a lasting impact on me and changed me for the better.

...and so, this is my experience about "Being There"...

It really matters and it really makes a difference. This video reminded me of an experience I had years ago with Lauren.

It was her habit to come home from school, crawl up on a stool at the counter while I was preparing dinner and tell me about her day. One day stands out more than others, because it was one of those "ouch" moments that parents experience when they realize they are not really being there in the moment.

I was busy doing whatever it is that I do when making dinner, when Lauren told me about something funny that happened at school. Although the story was funny, as I glanced at her, her face was serious, almost frowning.

I asked her why she was looking so sad? Her reply was that was the way I was looking at her.

"Ouch"

I realized then that my children's faces are a mirror in which my own emotions are reflected. If I am living in the moment and giving my total attention to them, their joy will be reflected in my own expression, which in turn affects the light in their eyes. Listening, really listening, requires focusing on them in that moment, because much too soon, those moments end and they are gone.

That's why I thought of Lauren today when I saw this video on the LDS website. That's why I love my daughters, they are all so wonderful at living in the moment. They are wonderful people and work really hard at being there for their spouses, their children and each other.


...and the proof is in the puddin' (whatever that means), or in the smiling faces of my girls and their babes.

Here are pictures of my girls, being there, living in the moment...

I know you can't see Lauren's face in that picture, but you can see Lauren's reflection in Carlee's smile.

...sometimes the moment is very exciting...

...sometimes it is a little scary...

...sometimes it means getting your hands (and elbows) dirty...

...and sometimes it means holding onto them for dear life...

...no matter how or when, my girls are good at being there...

Last night was typical...

...Sunday dinner at our house.


...Matthew grilled burgers...

...I love the new slider size burger buns. They are just the right size for an Emry or Sammie without leaving half an uneaten burger on their plate.

...unfortunately, I have only found these hamburger buns at Dick's market in Centerville.











Grandma Great and Logan were enjoying the mild weather with a little front porch sittin'.

The girls got out the dress-up bin and were instant princesses. Millie Jo was very serious until her mom told her to smile, which she did, then she ran away, so I only have a clear picture of the serious.

These two little girls get SO excited to see each other. I am so glad they are growing up close enough to play together often.

...we don't even have to tell Sammie to smile at the camera any more. She just knows to hurry and get it over with then grandma will stop bugging her.

...Emry loves raiding grandma's sucker jar, but she never takes just one, she always takes one for Sam and Amelia too.

...all in all, it was a perfect evening, except of course, we weren't all there. We always have empty seats at Sunday dinner right now, but only for 2 more years.


Actually 20 months and 3 weeks, then there will be NO EMPTY CHAIRS.