Today....

...she would be 87 and we would have a party.


I remember once in elementary school coming home and finding my mom more emotional than usual.  I finally asked her what was wrong and she told me it was her birthday and no one had done anything for her.


I still remember desperately wanting to fix it and vowing to myself that I would always, ALWAYS, remember her birthday and there would always be a celebration.  My dad may not have been a big party guy, but I would make up for it and she would never again wonder if she was loved.


...and I like to think I did it.  I succeeded in celebrating every birthday of hers from that point on.


I think some children can be self-centered and I know I was the queen of "Me".  I was tender hearted enough and had compassion for classmates when they were picked on or baby birds that blew out of their spring time nests...but I had never really thought about my own mother's emotional needs before this experience.


...even today I feel a need to take care of and protect her.  I know mom's are supposed to be the protectors, but she was different, more fragile and I began to learn at a young age that she would be happy if I was happy(usually).


Her childhood, like so many of her generation, was difficult.   Though she said little, I have good reason to doubt her parents ever acknowledged her birthday.


Then she married my dad...who was always ready to go dancing on Saturday night, but was not the type to stop and buy his wife a birthday card.  He did try, once...once he brought her a heart shaped box with chocolates for her birthday.  Thankfully he removed the discount sticker from the Valentine's Day sale before he gave it to her.  She knew.  She laughed and I believe in his own way he did the best he knew how.  That became a great joke that she told up until the end of her life, that she was only deserving of Valentine's Day sale candy.  Matthew bought her a box of heart shaped Valentine's Day chocolates every year that she lived with us, but for Valentine's Day, not for her birthday.


...but her birthday was up to me.  A cake would be nice, but she loved pie more, so I always made her pie on her birthday, with cards and presents, everything necessary to let her know she was loved.


Matthew asked me recently if I thought they celebrate birthdays in heaven?  I don't know?  Maybe...or maybe time has little meaning there.  I've thought about it a little, but I still haven't come to a conclusion. 


...but I can bet you that if they do celebrate birthdays in heaven.


...my mom and dad are still laughing about that heart shaped box of chocolates.