I was somewhere between...

...emptying my mother's trash and putting away her laundry when I overheard a conversation between my mother and her hospice nurse, Melissa.



I have to admit, I eavesdropped on their conversation...



...and I'm glad I did.



When Melissa arrived Monday, I told her that I felt like my mother had an incident Sunday evening, possibly a stroke.  So when Melissa went upstairs to check on her, I knew she was just doing a mental evaluation, but the questions she asked were questions I have wanted to ask my mother my whole life.  Melissa, who has only known my mother for a few short weeks, had the grace and the strength to ask her how she felt about dying and if she believed in an after-life?



...maybe I should explain a little bit of the history...



One summer I got caught up with a group of kids in my hometown and attended a Christian Church summer revival camp.  I had a wonderful time and was voted camper of the year, with the understanding I would attend the following summer.  I had no idea what would happen in the following 12 months, but that's another story...



The weekend I arrived home from the camp in Ashland, I asked if we could bless the food at dinner that afternoon (in KS, dinner is the noon time meal and supper is the evening meal, not that that matters to the story, just thought you'd like to know).  When I asked, my mother jumped up from the table and ran out the back door crying.  I looked at my dad, who quickly took another bite of his fried potatoes, a piece of onion dangling from his fork like a wet worm. (maybe that was a little too graphic, sorry, that's just the way I remember it, funny how those things come back to me)



I never tried that one again.



...so basically, I haven't discussed religion with my mother at all since then, not that we really had a discussion that afternoon, it was more like a...well, I don't know what to call it, but suffice it to say God never really ever came up again after that.



...but when Melissa started questioning her, I stopped dead in my tracks, listening.  




...and this is kind of how the conversation went...


Melissa:  How are you Marie?

Mother:  Oh, I'm OK.

Melissa:  Are you in pain?

Mother:  No, not really, I'm just so tired and weak.  I can't eat.  I don't even want to eat.

Melissa:  That's a sign that your heart is growing weaker and as you get closer to the end of your life it will become even more so.  Are you prepared for that?

Mother:  What?

Melissa(speaking louder):  Your heart is growing weaker.  Are you OK with dying?

Mother:  Oh, I guess so.

Melissa:  Do you have any regrets?

Mother:  No I didn't eat nuggets.  I told you I'm not hungry. (Andy and Mike, stop laughing)

Melissa(speaking even louder now):  Do you have any REGRETS?

Mother: No.

Melissa:  Do you believe in an after-life?

Mother:  Well, I like to think there is something after all of this.

Melissa: So do I.  Do you believe you will be with your family after this life?

Mother:  I hope so.  Kaylee thinks I will.


...and there you have it.  All this time I thought my mother didn't know what I believed or if I really believed in anything, but apparently she has been watching and listening.


...thank you, Melissa, for doing what I haven't had the courage to do.