...I don't know how to do this? How do I live without her? I have spent 7 years with her in my life, everyday, every meal, every thought...
...and now, I'm having to re-think everything.
Going up the stairs this morning, I heard someone say, "My mother is dead." It's really odd when you hear your own voice and not recognize it was you saying the words.
I'm adjusting, but there are moments of complete disbelief. I wonder if she is going through the same thing? But, no, I tell myself, she has a far better understanding now than I do.
I hear myself saying, "My mother is dead". Yes, I tell myself, she is dead, but she will always be with me in my thoughts and in my heart(does that sound corny????...I don't care...it's getting me through). I'm hoping I will always feel her as near to me as I do now. I hope that as the smell of her perfume wears off and as I become more adjusted to the thought that my mother is dead, that I will still feel her presence in my life.
...and I really hope that she is as aware of me now as I am of what our life together was like...
...before my mother was dead...
Love you more...
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