While sitting at work...

...I could remember pictures of her with everyone...


...everyone, but me.


....not one picture of us together.




I have taken thousands of pictures of our family in the past 7 years since mother moved in with us.  Hundreds of pictures of my children and grandchildren with my mom, but I couldn't remember seeing one picture of me with her since she moved in...




...not one.


As soon as I got home from work, I headed for the computer room and started searching through bins, boxes and photo books...



Stacks and falling stacks of pictures...Cameron resting his head against her chest, Mike  and mother huddled together over a jigsaw puzzle, Porter and her watching TV, Aubrey sitting next to her, Lauren and mother hamming it up for the camera that she didn't think was on, both of them laughing, even her with Max...but me with mother...




...nothing.




How could I have missed that?  Didn't anyone ever take a picture of me with her?  Did I never once hand the camera to someone and ask them to take a picture of us together? 




...nothing.




How could I have missed that?




What was I thinking?




...and now it's too late.




No regrets, I tell myself, no regrets.  If I start opening that door, wishing for a do-over...no, I can't even think about it.


...no regrets.