Every thought of everyday seems to take me back to her room where she lies alone.
I hear a song on the radio and I think of my dad playing his guitar and in turn I think of mother. An elderly patient calls to make an appointment for next week and half jokingly, half serious says, "I hope I live long enough to come", and I think of her. I see a woman walking her dog and I think of Max, Lauren's dog that adopted mother when Lauren left home, and then I'm thinking of her again.
I think of the brave people in my life who have lost loved ones and kept a stiff upper lip. A neighbor lost her son in a tragic accident and she talks about making the choice to "keep it together" when everyone around her would have been understanding of her "losing it". Matthew's mom told me not long after her second daughter died of multiple sclerosis that she occasionally stood in the middle of the living room and cried out to God, but I never saw her have anything but the bravest expression on her face. My own grandmother had lost more loved ones to death than she had alive, but not once did she appear to feel sorry for herself.
...and I marvel at the river of sorrow that flows through lives that I'm unaware of, because people are so very brave.
...brave enough to keep swimming upstream in that river of sorrow.
...because as the movie line goes in Fried Green Tomatoes...
...a heart can be broken, but it keeps right on a beatin' just the same....
...and I will keep on swimming, because with all the love and support from family and friends, there's no way I'm going to drown...
and on a much lighter note,
I'm not the only one enjoying the new kitchen...
(the apron Lauren is wearing is from my former co-worker, also named Lauren...I have on the apron Shay made, but you can't see it in the picture)
PS Lauren is making the best chicken ever...well almost, because nothing is as good as my fried chicken...but this is definitely second.
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